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Jun 18, 2014

My Mom Is Beautiful.

     This is a blog post after a long time travelling around the country, a bit of meditation and a lot of reading. All that done in hopes of opening new doors in my head and learning new life lessons. When I finally returned home after a year away(Only for a 10-day holiday break though) I never thought I would learn a beautiful lesson right in the middle of all the comforts home had to offer.
     My mom was dressing up to go her work, and meeting her after a significant amount of time, we were having our usual conversations of this and that. As she tried on her new purple kurta I happened to notice that she had grown a little fat around her hips and I told her "Ma, your body has become fat. That kurta looks weird on you."
     She accepted my comment coolly and justified how she had been eating a lot the past month. Her protest-less acceptance of my comment hit me so hard! I had obviously not thought of what my words actually signified, and soon a lesson learnt.
     Women will always be too fat, too short, too dark, have too many pimples and so on and on and on. I've been told of my tan, my grizzly dry hair and my farm of pimples on my face, over and over again. I have justified for them over and over again, as if being the way I am and looking the way I do offends the people who have to bear with it!
    My mother should have been horrified and told me not to talk of someone's body that way. I criticised her body, told her she was fat and basically told her she wasn't good enough. All she did was accept it. She accepted it as if I was right in saying all that I had said!
     When in reality my mother is so much more than just her body and face. Neither a size zero figure nor a body with fat around her hips, can define who she truly is. No beauty standards we create for women in this society can truly do justice to what women really are on the inside. So let's stop criticising the extra fat, the short legs and frizzy hair. Let's accept and love ourselves and each other for exactly the way we are - Beautiful! And I needed to go home, call my mother fat and watch her smile while being called fat to learn this lesson.
   I would love to hear stories of how beautiful your moms are :)

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Mar 26, 2014

HOW TO LOVE...

WARNING : There may be an excessive use of the word "Love" in this post. I suggest people uncomfortable with this word, don't fret, take a deep breath and then commence reading. You never know, you might actually fall in love with love.


     Love is a word we all use isn't it. Even when we talk of hate, we are actually talking of love. My life's journey has now led me to a stage where I want to feel love and compassion for all... Yes you read it right, for ALL!
     Love has always been a word that has come out of my lips, my entire life. Saying "I love you" to someone has been hard as well as easy for me. But, it is perhaps only now that I understand the real depth and significance of this word.
     Now how on earth am I going to love all, when there is so much to hate and detest in this world. When I thought real deep about love and compassion for ALL, I realised how herculean a task this is! If you are wondering, No I haven't managed to give unconditional love and compassion for the entire humanity, but good news I have figured out the first step.
     This first step is not giving up all your belongings to the poor of the world, it is not adopting all orphans into your home, it isn't even falling head over heels in love with someone. The first step towards Love is Not To Hate. It isn't even an action that requires effort, in fact it is the lack of all the pain and stress required to hate someone or something.
     Isn't the act of hating a big burden? Having to carry that lump of evil thoughts, curses, complains and what not, always around on your shoulders. What if you just let go of it all? You wouldn't have to love or forgive or even tolerate, you just stop hating. Doesn't it sound very relieving?
     Once that hate is let go of, our hearts and minds are lighter and cleansed, it is certainly easier to fill it with good thoughts and eventually with lots of love and compassion. If you are wondering if I really did try it, Yes I did. If you are wondering if it worked, guess what? Yes it worked!
The symbol of infinite Love and Wisdom, tattooed on my shoulder.
     I started with trying not to hate the nagging my mom does, trying not to hate the unbelievably gender biased movies that pass of as good films in the cinemas, trying not to hate the horribly rude auto drivers that try to loot you, trying not to hate some people that were really easy to hate, so on and so forth.
     As I reached this eureka moment in my journey of love and compassion, I also decided to mark my life with this new beginning. I got the infinity symbol of love and wisdom inked on my shoulder, to keep reminding me and to keep spreading the message of this simple word called Love.



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Feb 9, 2014

In Chaotic Peace

     I have always enjoyed writing down my thoughts and ideas, despite the lack of readers for my pieces of work. Yet, I realised the past few months have been a time when my writers' block took the best of me. I argued (with myself ofcourse!) that I was busy saving the world or making my hair, that writing took the back seat.
     Today, I am admitting (to myself again!) as to why my fingers haven't penned down my mind. 
     My head is in chaos! In utter chaos. My thoughts and ideas are questioned by further thoughts and ideas, only to be questioned again by more thoughts and ideas. I haven't lost my soul, but I sure am on the way to losing my sanity!
     I have always been afraid of not believing the 'Right way' or the 'Right Answer', that I was in denial of chaos in my head. What if everything I believed in my whole life was all wrong? What if all of it was just wrong conditioning? I am at a phase where most questions do not have answers, my future plans are confusing me, relations are straining me and I basically need a break! I was just afraid of admitting this to myself.
     Don't we all reach this phase in our lives where too many doors of life confuse us and our head is lost between rationality, logic, sentimentality and thirsts for peace. Being afraid of accepting this chaos in my head meant my hands were paused in motion. But why are we all afraid of this state? Why are we all so obsessed with being composed and sorted,and having all the right answers, all the time? Why don't we allow ourselves to enjoy the chaos too? It certainly helped me to write one chaotic piece of writing, perhaps the acceptance of not having answers and not knowing which way to go is alright. Maybe sometimes we need to allow ourselves to enjoy some chaotic peace.


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Nov 24, 2013

JUST FIVE CLOTHES...

Sounds familiar???
Detachment from materialistic things! When I realized I needed to take my spirituality journey, or rather my life’s journey, to the next step, detachment from materialistic things was what I was confronted with. I wish I can say I was successfully able to leave my royal castle behind, with its golden chariots and closets full of designer gowns; but I did not manage to do that. Instead I can say I was successfully able to confuse myself as to what I was to give up first. (What did I have to give up, is another question for another day.)
            A friend of mine last week, looked at her closet overflowing with clothes and shoes, and suddenly exclaimed, “I need to stop shopping!” . At that moment, my head raced back to the time when I faced my own dilemma and exclaimed, “Let’s give away some clothes”. I guess I was expected her to slap me for even suggesting to her the prospects of separating with her beloved apparels, but I was surprised to what followed.
            My friend doesn't really bother much about spirituality, but too much clothes in her wardrobe is certainly something to worry about. A perfect situation to practice detachment! What better method to understand the significance of detachment, than giving up clothes?
            Since this was my first step when faced with my dilemma, this was easy for me to choreograph. Today, I wish to share this secret first step, that we both took to all those looking for a path towards detachment and to those looking to clean up their closets :

  •          Choose five clothes, just five clothes you are willing to give away.
  •          Now that you have chosen them, do not re-think and do not look at them again! If you do, then your heart will come up with excuses to not give them up.
  •          Now quickly pack them up in a bag and keep them far away from the closet.
  •          This is assuming that you have already found someone you can give them away to, or organizations that take used clothes in order to recycle them, GIVE THEM AWAY!
            I am certain that half of the people reading this post will be screaming in terror, reading the last step in my step-to-step guide. My friend was perhaps anticipating the same emotion. A day after giving away the clothes she had loved for so long, with all her heart; I asked her how she was feeling after going through that tough step towards detachment, a step very significant in self-awareness and spirituality. “Nothing!” she said, a successful first step!
            Go ahead! Pick your five clothes today, just five clothes.


           

Sep 20, 2013

JUST TRUST THE KIDS

            Today I accompanied one of my fellow mates to a school that he assists with, since I was a little bored to go to one of the schools I am assigned to (We work with government schools in backward areas, about which I will hopefully post very soon in detail, so don’t fret about the details!). It is a typical Indian sarkari(government) school, set in the urban side of the district, but with a twist.
            The students who barely manage to attend classes are kids of rag-pickers, beggars and homeless community of that area. Having spoken to quite a few teachers, officials, community – members, and so on, about the children, I got to hear a load of character traits about the little learners of this backward community.
The kids colouring away, while I watch on (I'm in green)
            They steal! They curse! They are violent! and what not. I walked into the class to see curious little faces (I assume curious, for all I know they couldn’t care less about my foreign entry). I sat in a corner as I observed the little kids be just that – little kids. A lot of glances and a few hesitant smiles later I was sitting with them on the floor talking about colours and trees and cows and basically everything their minds ran towards.
            I gave each one a fresh piece of paper, opened up my new box of colours and gave them the permission to pick any crayon they wished. They had a lot of creative juices flowing on to the piece of paper for about an hour, when finally it was time for lunch. They left, giving me their creations to eat the food that comes from the government food distribution centres (Most of the kids here get just that meal in the entire day!). Guess how many crayons out of the fifteen I had, were left in my case?
            All of them! Not a single kid stole a crayon, tore up the paper or misbehaved with me. All of them were kids, just like any other kid I’ve met in all the schools I’ve been too. I just trusted them and welcomed them with an open and prejudice – free mind. I only wonder why this is so hard to do for so many of us adults!




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Aug 1, 2013

EQUAL AND FREE

“Let him who would move the world first move himself.” 

~ Socrates

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” 
~ Mahatma Gandhi 

            I watched a group of young kids of about 10 years old, working on a construction site, bare-foot and bare-headed, as I walked back from one of India’s over 1 million sarkari (government) schools that give every child the right to free education. I wish I could say it was a heart – wrenching sight for me, but it wasn’t! Child labour is dangerously a common sight in India, ask every Indian!
             I looked away almost indifferently, but somewhere I could feel a little light switch on. I was there for a reason.  I was at the government school in a village, working towards my dream to the change the education system of this country. That was my reason. But if there are millions of kids still on the streets, having to work ruthlessly to fill their stomachs, with just two square meals a day, what change can I possibly bring?
           I change one kid. Is it enough? I change one school. So what? I change one village. What about the rest of this humungous nation? These changes never last long anyway. I will never be done. So what on earth is the point of it all?...
           When I was younger, I was an annoying little girl (some may say I still am), who complained and whined about the system, the society’s evils, deforestation, people’s attitude, animal testing and so on. To change the world, you have to first change yourself I was told. I would whine and complain even more saying, such a clogged point of view would never change anything.
           As I walked away from the working kids, I finally understood!
The sarkari school kids that I work with.
           Imagine if I looked into my own self and changed my way of thinking, my way of life and my philosophy. Imagine I change myself. Now, imagine if all of us looked into our own selves and changed our way of thinking, our way of life and our philosophy. Imagine we all change ourselves!

          By changing myself, I have become a part of that changed society where every being is equal and free, have I not? This change is big enough and long lasting enough to actually make a difference (yipeeee!). By changing myself, I have become a part of that society that gives a child the education it deserves, away from the life of a child labourer, have I not? By changing ourselves, we become a part of a society where every being is truly equal and free!



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Jul 11, 2013

The Super(wo)man Inside all of Us...!

             Strong. Independent. Brave. I am not new to these words being used to describe me, obviously used after Stubborn. Weird. Short, nonetheless I accept these compliments with a big smile and an odd giggle as if I am in accordance with their description of me.           
The Fellowship ended up being one of the
 best learning experiences, and the journey is still on
            As to why anyone would say “How do you do it?”, or “where do you get the courage from?” or even “You are soooooo brave!”, fret not, I shall explain. I am a tiny little unmarried Indian girl who loves to travel and do things I’ve never done before. Since it is a tough task to carry my mother around with me, it means I travel alone. Yes! Alone! Which is apparently super unusual for an Indian girl. Why? That is a story for another day.
            As to me being all brave and superwoman. I am not! I shake, shiver and decide to quit all the time. I am writing this very blog post from a train from Delhi to Udaipur, where I start my life’s new chapter, working on a fellowship to help improve the Indian education scenario. Just a day before I was hiding under my friend’s blanket, shrieking that I didn’t want to leave the bed!
            My dear friend had to go through quite a riot to calm my nerves down, but once I got on the road I was fine. It took a lot to get to “fine”, but I most certainly did! If I had given up the second I felt my heart race and my legs quiver, then I wouldn’t be on my way to my dream of working with schools, I would have long gone back home only to quit other opportunities that presented itself to me.
            Am I brave? I do not know… Do I get scared? Hell yeah!... Do I let it stop me? Once I’m out of hiding under my blanket, I’m up for any challenge!
At home anywhere the world has to offer me.
            If facing my fears to reach my dreams, means I’m strong, brave and independent, then I guess I am. But, it certainly is not something I was born with. The more I face life and fight, the more easier it gets to get up and actually move forward. It doesn’t mean I get any less scared. Change and New Journeys still frighten me to bits, but now I have the confidence that it will be fine!

            The fear of the unknown and of new challenges is natural. We all experience it one time or the other. In fact if you don’t get nervous, then there is something to be worried about! Go. Dream. Fly! Don’t let your fears stop you from doing all that your heart desires, just like how I don’t let it stop me.

P.S: Sorry for the lame captions on the pictures! Too stressed out to come out with something more creative.

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