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Apr 26, 2016

Changing The World?

     A lifetime of wanting to change the world, two years of being a part of a leadership programme to train to change the world and a year of cleansing myself of the hangover of wanting to change the world later, I've finally found or rather re-discovered the answer that great minds have always disclosed, to the age old question of how to Change The World! 

     Whether we like to believe it or not the only being we ever truly have control over (close to complete control) is ourselves. As parents disciplining your children, as lovers making your partners quit smoking, as professors mentoring your students or religious extremists preaching your version of morality, you only have as much power over others as they let you have. Just as Brutus says in the play 'Julius ceasar', even slaves can't be ever owned as they have the power to end their lives and take away the upper hand of their masters.

     When we spend crores of funding on large organisations, write heart-wrenching biographies and mentor young minds, the closest we get to changing the world is by creating an environment where people can see that there is a choice beyond their default consumeristic, capitalistic, narcissistic, parasitic (the list goes on really!) human self. We can create a world where that choice exists. We can never make someone choose the right way of life. If we did, then what is the difference between the imperialist and us? "Well our intentions are right" you say? Well so thought Hitler! How can we ever be sure of the right way of living, of loving, of building, of co-existing, of praying, of partying! I've learnt that we can only try, show people around us the way and pray to the cosmos that they join in the race to save our humanity.

     Saying no to plastic, giving your seat to a senior citizen, calling out a racist, helping an injured animal, following your passions or even loving someone unconditionally, small actions like these help create that world where people can build that courage to do right, because we all know how hard it can be sometimes. Our responsibilities, our education and our religions don't let us but perhaps if we saw our neighbour plant a tree, so would we. Be that neighbour, change yourself and inspire change in others, because the only way you can Change The World is by Changing Yourself!

Inspired?

Apr 18, 2016

The Indian Pyaar Kahani

     Boy meets girl and falls in love. Girl hesitates but eventually falls in love. Boy proposes to get married. Girl says yes and they live happily forever more... Wait! This is an Indian love story. Can't do without a few speed bumps... Girl says yes but her parents disallow. So boy and girl separated forever! Another incomplete story to add to the collection of epic Indian love stories.
     Such was the tale of one of my friends too(actually several of my friends lately), who chivalrously gave up his true love because he didn't want his lover to choose between her parents and him. He said, "When the choice is between your parents and your lover, it's an obvious choice isn't it?"
"Your parents!" he said.
"Your lover!" I said simultaneously!
     Apparently not an obvious choice. After a brief awkward silence, as the rules of any combat proclaim, both sides have to present their sides. 
     "Parents provide for us, they love us our whole lives and we have to be responsible children and listen to their wishes.", fortunately this is not what he said, though I am quite sure these reasons weren't mentioned because it was supposed to be understood.
      Instead, he argued his family was accepting enough to have her as their bride, but if a situation had arisen that he had to choose between his family and his love, he would be torn. This he didn't want his lover to go through! Hence, the sacrifice...
     Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I still went ahead with presenting my argument because a debate is a debate! You do not let emotions sway you.
     When it comes to planning or even just daydreaming about our lives, we tend to stick with our pasts. It is the familiar, regardless of the pain and the hardships we might have been through, it is something that is comfortable to us because we already know that journey. Unlike the future, which is wholly unknown. This is why it is sometimes so hard for us to let go of our past pains and attachments and move on. Therefore, we tend to make current decisions based on what we already know - the past.
Picture taken from web
     It is to this past that I shall attach the parents to, since they are the familiar, the known. It conveniently slips our minds that the meaning of parents would drastically change in the future for most of us - parenthood! We are to become mothers and fathers ourselves and make decisions for our children. Who better to go on that journey than with someone you love and adore, someone who understands you and someone who is an equal partner in your life (considering that you have been lucky enough to find such a lover ofcourse!)
     It is this that I went on to explain to my friend. When we let go and sacrifice our lover for the sake of a disagreement at home, we are letting go of our entire future, our children. Besides, they are your parents, they love unconditionally right? They'll accept it eventually if you tell them you did it for your children! So truly, the choice isn't between your parents and your lover, but more about sticking to your comfort zone and taking a leap into the future. I think I saw tears in his eyes.
     We couldn't decide who won the debate really, we both gave commendable performances. As they say, we agreed to disagree.

I don't just write about love and relationships :)