HOW TO LOVE...

WARNING : There may be an excessive use of the word "Love" in this post. I suggest people uncomfortable with this word, don't fret, take a deep breath and then commence reading. You never know, you might actually fall in love with love.

     Love is a word we all use isn't it. Even when we talk of hate, we are actually talking of love. My life's journey has now led me to a stage where I want to feel love and compassion for all... Yes you read it right, for ALL!
     Love has always been a word that has come out of my lips, my entire life. Saying "I love you" to someone has been hard as well as easy for me. But, it is perhaps only now that I understand the real depth and significance of this word.
     Now how on earth am I going to love all, when there is so much to hate and detest in this world. When I thought real deep about love and compassion for ALL, I realised how herculean a task this is! If you are wondering, No I haven't managed to give unconditional love and compassion for the entire humanity, but good news I have figured out the first step.
     This first step is not giving up all your belongings to the poor of the world, it is not adopting all orphans into your home, it isn't even falling head over heels in love with someone. The first step towards Love is Not To Hate. It isn't even an action that requires effort, in fact it is the lack of all the pain and stress required to hate someone or something.
     Isn't the act of hating a big burden? Having to carry that lump of evil thoughts, curses, complains and what not, always around on your shoulders. What if you just let go of it all? You wouldn't have to love or forgive or even tolerate, you just stop hating. Doesn't it sound very relieving?
     Once that hate is let go of, our hearts and minds are lighter and cleansed, it is certainly easier to fill it with good thoughts and eventually with lots of love and compassion. If you are wondering if I really did try it, Yes I did. If you are wondering if it worked, guess what? Yes it worked!

The symbol of infinite Love and Wisdom, tattooed on my shoulder.

     I started with trying not to hate the nagging my mom does, trying not to hate the unbelievably gender biased movies that pass of as good films in the cinemas, trying not to hate the horribly rude auto drivers that try to loot you, trying not to hate some people that were really easy to hate, so on and so forth.
     As I reached this eureka moment in my journey of love and compassion, I also decided to mark my life with this new beginning. I got the infinity symbol of love and wisdom inked on my shoulder, to keep reminding me and to keep spreading the message of this simple word called Love.



Don't Forget to also check out my other posts :

• Just Five Clothes...
• He said he had three Girlfriends

     

The Choice Between ME And Who YOU Want Me To Be

     He looked into my eyes with great concern and said, "Why do you think you are different? Just be Normal like everybody else and gel in." 

     For a second it seemed like a decent advice that in my 20 years of ups and downs, never occurred to me apparently. I have to be honest and confess, I've always felt a lack of belonging and felt like I need to be somewhere else but the place that I was in. I've always felt when I was talking, I was heard but never truly understood. Maybe I was talking a different language or talking of a different world. Maybe I was just insane, suffered a genetic mutation or was just different. "Just be like everybody else". 

Should I be ME or just like the rest be?

     Maybe I should start dressing exactly like my friends and stop bothering about gender equality. Maybe I should straighten my hair and stop talking about improving the education system of my country.  Maybe I should just get a masters degree(In the very education system I opine as incapable!) instead of wanting to travel the world to see its true beauty. Yes! Maybe I should give up all my dreams, all my passions, all my heart's desires just so that all the people around me will look at me and say, "she is normal, she is just like the rest of us."

      We live in a society where people of beauty, wealth and power are worshiped (Need I state the countless examples of who our society wrongfully appreciates?). We have a set of behaivoural guidelines and habits that we deem as NORMAL. The things we wear, the way we speak, the places that we visit , the people that we date or even the dreams we Dare to Dream. They all have to be a certain way that the majority doesn't frown upon. 

     But what if I want to break away from that NORMAL. What if I want to set out on a path that has not been tread on by the generations before me. I am scared and am certainly unsure of what lies ahead. But  do I let these fears stop me? I am alone in trying to be that someone that the society says is DIFFERENT. Do I step back and live a life that I dread, just because people on the street don't recognize me for who I am?

     Why is it that we have a fear something new. We let that fear stop us from freeing our souls to the unknown. If I dare to say I want to take two years off from my education, to travel this beautiful world and learn about the planet I belong to, all I hear are gasps of utter fright and certain cases of disappointment (Sorry my main aim in life is not the own a yellow Ferrari and a bungalow on the palm islands in Dubai!)

     Our obsession with complying with this standard of NORMAL, makes us so prejudiced and biased. If a man chooses to love a man instead of a woman like the rest of us, why do we say he is committing a sin? If a woman is healthier than most of us by about 80 Kilos, then why do the words 'fat' and 'ugly' automatically enter into our minds? If a man wears torn clothes and earns less than most of us, why do we assume he is worthless and achieved nothing mentionable at all? 

     We judge them so instantly and recklessly, that it is truly unfortunate. We spend our whole lives learning that true beauty of a person lies on the inside, yet all we care about is the outside. All the wonderful people we stop ourselves from knowing, just because we don't agree with what and who they are! All the wonderful things we stop ourselves from becoming, just because others might not agree with what and who we are!

     My very concerned friend, was obviously concerned that I felt alone and isolated. But do I change myself just so that I am accepted? Do I lose everything that truly makes me ME, just so that I am identified with pretty words? 

     Just when I had decided I am going to be all alone in my fight to re-define NORMAL, I had an epiphany (I had to use this word, because I just love the way it sounds!). I am not alone at all! Just a few days later another good friend of mine said "whatever you are is your state of NORMAL, not what others say it needs to be". No need to lose myself in the crowd then? A week later I met a room full of people with more zeal than me to give up on NORMAL dreams of wealth and power, in order to work for the community. No need to give up on my dreams then? 

     

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

~ Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Don't Forget to Also Read :   

• Dream To Be Free
• The Little Things That Make Heaven

   

I Am My Own Angel...

    I am a teenager! And like all teenagers are expected to, even I have my sudden mood swings and "attitude problems". I most certainly won't make excuses for it, neither will I expect somebody to understand it. Being around people of all ages, I have the opportunity to observe them (my favourite past-time!) and in my little way to understand. Today I will share my thoughts and experiences of being a teenager! Hope others like me can find a friend in this and parents, teachers and adults can read this and try to understand us. All we need is a little patience!!!

     Throughout our childhood we are made to listen to stories about handsome princes, fairy god mothers and magical wands that always come to our rescue. We wait our whole lives in hopes that there just might be such fantastical things to make all the unwanted elements of our lives go away, but it is when you are a teenager and begin to see real life, that you finally realize there are no such things. Is it so wrong to cope up with such news that breaks our hearts? A little show of anger or a little "attitude problem" is probably just excuses to cover up our disappointment at learning about the truth.

     We will always find people who will love us, people who will care for us, but it is truly rare and painstakingly difficult to find people (or i would like to call them angels) who will go out of their way just to make you smile. Maybe a little optimism, a little hope and a lot of patience just might find you that angel, but until then don’t burden anyone else with that responsibility of being the answer for all your worries.

     We all look at our fathers, our mothers, our teachers or anybody else we look up to, to understand us! Maybe that is why all teenagers scream "You just never understand me". Maybe no one can be that angel, maybe we all have to be our own angels. But then again, they themselves are looking out for such angels. Don't mistake me, I am neither complaining nor blaming adults around the world. But I only hope my immature words might make a small difference in somebody’s life, like how it’s making a difference in mine. We all need to learn to be our own angels!

     Some people are born lucky, born into homes and families. Some are a little less lucky, they need to find these homes and families. But most of us have to build these homes and families ourselves. Work hard throughout our lives to build love, to build hope and to build lives that we can live happily in. I have come to believe that it is during your teenage you begin to learn this truth of life. I recently got a forward message from a friend that was sent as a joke, but I must say it meant a lot more. It went like this "Teenagers are the most misunderstood people. We are treated like little kids but are expected to act like mature adults".

      "My whole life I have lived in pleasant thought,
      As if life's business were a summer mood;
      As if all needful things would come unsought
      To genial faith, still rich in genial good;
      But how can He expect that others should
      Build for him, sow for him, and at his call
      Love him, who for himself will take no heed at all?"

                            ~Resolution and Independence,

                              William Wordsworth