Our Lovers Left Us

   

     I know it hurts a lot. I know you loved her and she said she would love you forever and till eternity. But its all up in flames today and the only thing that is burning are your insides. You want to leave your bare body and run away into a place of numbness and try to make all that pain go away. But every day as you watch the sun set into its warm abode leaving you alone with the cold wind, you know it will take you a long time to heal or perhaps never...

     But listen to me, look at me! Many men of heart and soul have come into my life promising to hold me while I cried, yet the moment they saw my laughter fade, they faded away too. Just yesterday, the man who said I made him happy, left me forever here looking for answers to what went wrong? Did I not love him enough? Did I not hold him tight enough? Yet I stand strong, with a broken heart, hoping... No! Knowing for certain that it will heal and join into a whole again. I know this because my strong heart still carries the beautiful scars from my past.

     Do you want to know a secret oh my broken hearted mess? The only way a heart broken by love can heal, is by teaching it to love beyond its cracks and frays. Have you seen a child learning to ride the bike? She falls again and again and again, until one day she finally learns to ride the bike and journey to all the places her heart had ever wanted. She never stops getting on the bike and trying again. You and I shall also fall again and again and again, until our wings finally learn to fly and we fall into the arms of love all over again. This time for real!

     Not that our old lovers weren't real. They were! We laughed with them, we cried with them, we had fun with them and most of all we grew because of them. We wrote beautiful stories with them didn't we? So no regrets!

     Don't let the ugliness and vile bitterness of a broken promise take over your soul. I know you feel angry, you feel disappointment, depression and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. I've heard a million defeated lovers tell me love is not worth it, love is only pain and love only murders! Listen to me, it isn't love that hurts, but we ourselves. Every day, every memory, every stab we relive again and again until love seems like the biggest evil that has ever existed. NO! Don't let it poison you. Our lovers lefts us, they were meant to. Don't deny yourself the beauty of healing and growing into a more mature lover, just because our lovers gave up on us. Let us not give up on ourselves! Let us still be open and look for that love that our souls and our bodies deserve! Let us continue to hold on my forlorn friend... Let us continue to hold love.

     I may have filled your heart with hope, that is what I intended to do. But I should also warn you that this hope will also slowly fade as your memories return. It is inevitable! Our minds are addicted to the roller coaster ride of emotions, but remember it is just a ride. You will get off it soon, so keep returning to love until one day you build your home with our love.


Don't forget to also read and share your views on

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HOW TO LOVE...

WARNING : There may be an excessive use of the word "Love" in this post. I suggest people uncomfortable with this word, don't fret, take a deep breath and then commence reading. You never know, you might actually fall in love with love.

     Love is a word we all use isn't it. Even when we talk of hate, we are actually talking of love. My life's journey has now led me to a stage where I want to feel love and compassion for all... Yes you read it right, for ALL!
     Love has always been a word that has come out of my lips, my entire life. Saying "I love you" to someone has been hard as well as easy for me. But, it is perhaps only now that I understand the real depth and significance of this word.
     Now how on earth am I going to love all, when there is so much to hate and detest in this world. When I thought real deep about love and compassion for ALL, I realised how herculean a task this is! If you are wondering, No I haven't managed to give unconditional love and compassion for the entire humanity, but good news I have figured out the first step.
     This first step is not giving up all your belongings to the poor of the world, it is not adopting all orphans into your home, it isn't even falling head over heels in love with someone. The first step towards Love is Not To Hate. It isn't even an action that requires effort, in fact it is the lack of all the pain and stress required to hate someone or something.
     Isn't the act of hating a big burden? Having to carry that lump of evil thoughts, curses, complains and what not, always around on your shoulders. What if you just let go of it all? You wouldn't have to love or forgive or even tolerate, you just stop hating. Doesn't it sound very relieving?
     Once that hate is let go of, our hearts and minds are lighter and cleansed, it is certainly easier to fill it with good thoughts and eventually with lots of love and compassion. If you are wondering if I really did try it, Yes I did. If you are wondering if it worked, guess what? Yes it worked!

The symbol of infinite Love and Wisdom, tattooed on my shoulder.

     I started with trying not to hate the nagging my mom does, trying not to hate the unbelievably gender biased movies that pass of as good films in the cinemas, trying not to hate the horribly rude auto drivers that try to loot you, trying not to hate some people that were really easy to hate, so on and so forth.
     As I reached this eureka moment in my journey of love and compassion, I also decided to mark my life with this new beginning. I got the infinity symbol of love and wisdom inked on my shoulder, to keep reminding me and to keep spreading the message of this simple word called Love.



Don't Forget to also check out my other posts :

• Just Five Clothes...
• He said he had three Girlfriends

     

In Chaotic Peace

     I have always enjoyed writing down my thoughts and ideas, despite the lack of readers for my pieces of work. Yet, I realised the past few months have been a time when my writers' block took the best of me. I argued (with myself ofcourse!) that I was busy saving the world or making my hair, that writing took the back seat.

     Today, I am admitting (to myself again!) as to why my fingers haven't penned down my mind. 

     My head is in chaos! In utter chaos. My thoughts and ideas are questioned by further thoughts and ideas, only to be questioned again by more thoughts and ideas. I haven't lost my soul, but I sure am on the way to losing my sanity!

     I have always been afraid of not believing the 'Right way' or the 'Right Answer', that I was in denial of chaos in my head. What if everything I believed in my whole life was all wrong? What if all of it was just wrong conditioning? I am at a phase where most questions do not have answers, my future plans are confusing me, relations are straining me and I basically need a break! I was just afraid of admitting this to myself.

     Don't we all reach this phase in our lives where too many doors of life confuse us and our head is lost between rationality, logic, sentimentality and thirsts for peace. Being afraid of accepting this chaos in my head meant my hands were paused in motion. But why are we all afraid of this state? Why are we all so obsessed with being composed and sorted,and having all the right answers, all the time? Why don't we allow ourselves to enjoy the chaos too? It certainly helped me to write one chaotic piece of writing, perhaps the acceptance of not having answers and not knowing which way to go is alright. Maybe sometimes we need to allow ourselves to enjoy some chaotic peace.


Do check my other posts too :

• How to be happy in and out of a relationship
• Blast from the Past