A few days ago I turned 20. I presume I can now safely say I am a woman and not a girl anymore, and have lived a life long enough to form opinions and be considered as an adult(To my mother I am still a 13 year old kid!). Today I write not as Spoorthi, a college going girl who is always so cheerful and loves Dogs, but I write as a Woman...an Indian Woman.
I wasn't born in a typical Indian family, but it was rather just me and my mom my whole life. So, I have lived a life where I have seen how strong and independent a woman can truly be, in all circumstances that life and society can throw at us. Today, I too can proudly say I am a strong woman!
I walk with my shoulders straight and head held high. I voice my opinions in a country where almost everything has gone wrong; starting from the government to the social set-up of caste and religion. I truly believe that no dream is too far away to be achieved regardless of your gender, caste or colour.
Yet, today I write this feeling pain, disappointment and distress, and am standing on the cliff where I am only a few centimeters away from giving up on this nation. I love my country, and I always will, but will I ever be truly happy in this society?
From the moment I open my eyes in the morning every force around me wants to show me my place! My place as a woman! I am stared at by the men on the streets for the body I walk in. I am unheard in a debate in a group of men. I am told I need to marry a man to take care of me.
I pick a guitar, I am told to pick a spatula instead to learn cooking. I try to ride a bike, but no man is ready to sit behind me since it is embarrassing for a man who would let a woman take control of a bike. I want to make decisions for my group, but I don't see a single ear hearing me.
Why is it so rare in this nation to see a woman making decisions and taking control of situations, and a bunch of men listen to her and truly respect her decisions without prejudice? Why is so rare to see an unmarried woman successful in her life, being appreciated and held as an example of strength, and not forced to find herself a groom? Why is to so impossible to be a woman and even feel safe in this country?
Will I really be happy in a nation where everything in my life is decided by the gender I belong to? The clothes I wear, the people I spend time with, the education I get, the lifestyle I want to lead, even the time I have to get back home is decided on my gender! My worth, my value, my talent, my respect and my place in the society is careful measured based on my gender! How can I be happy and proud of being an Indian, when it truly hurts to know this inevitable fact of this society?
I am writing this under the risk of sounding like a whining woman, who is desperate to seem victimized. But no matter how I am looked at for writing this, the truth will never change. Women have always been and will always be objectified, disrespected and will never be treated as equals!
We are used for the maintenance of a household and used for the sexual gratification of men(The recent rape cases, and this nation's inability to stop it still is the biggest and the most shameful evidence). Our dreams are crushed and replaced by dreams already planned by the society.
This is a democratic nation. But, a democratic nation for men! Freedom? Liberty? Equality? How can I ever taste? How can I ever be proud to be an Indian Woman?
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I wasn't born in a typical Indian family, but it was rather just me and my mom my whole life. So, I have lived a life where I have seen how strong and independent a woman can truly be, in all circumstances that life and society can throw at us. Today, I too can proudly say I am a strong woman!
I walk with my shoulders straight and head held high. I voice my opinions in a country where almost everything has gone wrong; starting from the government to the social set-up of caste and religion. I truly believe that no dream is too far away to be achieved regardless of your gender, caste or colour.
Yet, today I write this feeling pain, disappointment and distress, and am standing on the cliff where I am only a few centimeters away from giving up on this nation. I love my country, and I always will, but will I ever be truly happy in this society?
From the moment I open my eyes in the morning every force around me wants to show me my place! My place as a woman! I am stared at by the men on the streets for the body I walk in. I am unheard in a debate in a group of men. I am told I need to marry a man to take care of me.
I pick a guitar, I am told to pick a spatula instead to learn cooking. I try to ride a bike, but no man is ready to sit behind me since it is embarrassing for a man who would let a woman take control of a bike. I want to make decisions for my group, but I don't see a single ear hearing me.
Why is it so rare in this nation to see a woman making decisions and taking control of situations, and a bunch of men listen to her and truly respect her decisions without prejudice? Why is so rare to see an unmarried woman successful in her life, being appreciated and held as an example of strength, and not forced to find herself a groom? Why is to so impossible to be a woman and even feel safe in this country?
Will I really be happy in a nation where everything in my life is decided by the gender I belong to? The clothes I wear, the people I spend time with, the education I get, the lifestyle I want to lead, even the time I have to get back home is decided on my gender! My worth, my value, my talent, my respect and my place in the society is careful measured based on my gender! How can I be happy and proud of being an Indian, when it truly hurts to know this inevitable fact of this society?
I am writing this under the risk of sounding like a whining woman, who is desperate to seem victimized. But no matter how I am looked at for writing this, the truth will never change. Women have always been and will always be objectified, disrespected and will never be treated as equals!
We are used for the maintenance of a household and used for the sexual gratification of men(The recent rape cases, and this nation's inability to stop it still is the biggest and the most shameful evidence). Our dreams are crushed and replaced by dreams already planned by the society.
This is a democratic nation. But, a democratic nation for men! Freedom? Liberty? Equality? How can I ever taste? How can I ever be proud to be an Indian Woman?
Also Read :
Good post Spoo! But how can you say "Women have always been and will always be objectified, disrespected and will never be treated as equals"? If everyone thinks it will never change, it WILL NEVER change.. but if enough people (incl. men of course, there are a lot of decent Indian men out there) stand up and protect the dignity and freedom of their fellow sisters there will be a real change in society. Now, India is still a largely poor, rural society where traditions are very strong..manifested for example in the caste system. So this will take time, but people are starting to wake up, just look at the massive public outcry after the Delhi incident. You're setting a great example yourself Spoo, people will listen to you eventually, they will respect you and they will follow your lead if you decide to take up the battle against gender-biased discrimination! I say as I always say: "whether you think you can do it or not doesn't matter, you're right either way"
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!
Thank you so much :)
ReplyDeleteI do wish to see a day when every woman has the courage to stand up and raise her voice and every man would listen to her... That world is where each of us could truly live as a democratic country... Will do everything I can to work towards that day.
Thank you for your support and your voice too :)...
Spoorthi
I like your passion, your honesty, your penmanship and your energy. But as a man, and a much older man at that, I feel you are being unduly pessimistic about change ever reaching the shores of our nation. It will happen dear, surely it will. Already in larger and larger swathes of India, women are forging a path that cannot but demand respect and equality. You are one such. And here I am, granting you that respect, am I not? Of course it wont happen without committed souls like you looking after their interests while the lsee passionate ones reap the benefits. But sacrifice you shall, for passion is your calling. Here is a link to an article i was perusing before happening across your post.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/04/15/130415fa_fact_faludi?currentPage=all.
You may find sisterhood, kindred soul and inspiration in Ms Firestone.
Wish you all the best young lady. You seem to be at the vestibule of a very meaningful and significant future. God bless.
Thank yo so much :)
DeleteI suppose I let my emotions take the front seat when I am writing. But this emotion is not to be mistaken with pessimism. There seems to be a lot to be done, a long long road ahead. Somehow I feel it is this very emotion that will fuel the fight forward...