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Dec 20, 2012

CHOOSE TO LIVE!

     Its been a couple of hours into the day predicted by the Mayans as the End of The World. I don't really feel a tremor, or hear a meteor crashing anywhere close by or feel a flood coming in. Inspite of all the drama about the end, I as a true optimist have all along believed that the world will not 'end' today, and as the dreaded day has arrived, I still choose to lazily sit in front of my computer and ignore the 'warnings' of the end.
     As I sit browsing interesting artists to listen to, I wonder why we all are afraid of the end. Since the day the word 'death' enters our vocabulary, we all know that it is inevitable, don't we? Nobody in the history has ever been to skip that part where we leave the earth and go to another life(or anything else that you may believe in, happens after death). Not even geniuses like Socrates and Einstein could. I highly doubt it is going to happen anytime soon. Yet, we do not accept death as a milestone in our lives, just as we accept our graduation, our wedding or even our divorce. 
     Maybe it is that we value life so much that we do not wish for it to end. We all wish to wake up everyday and smell the flowers while the warmth of the sun’s rays make our cheeks glow… As if!
     How many of us really do stop and smell the flowers, or look up at the sun and appreciate the fact that without that ball of flame high up in the sky we all would cease to exist? How many of us, since the day we heard the ‘doomsday’ was arriving, did anything to make the rest of our living days meaningful and worthwhile.
    We heard the news, gasped in disbelief and went right back to living as the same old sheep following the herd, didn't we? Most of just sat counting down to this very day, instead of adding unforgettable moments and smiles to our days that slipped away.
     Maybe if we all had managed to make those remaining days meaningful and worthwhile, and truly lived it to the fullest, we would not be so afraid to face the end. Maybe if we realized what our hearts and our souls truly wish for, and worked towards it, rather than setting goals that the society has already set for us, we would probably have been closer to being happy.
     If the world doesn't end today (which I really think it won’t!), let’s all take this as a second chance at life. From this day on let’s choose to take life as a second chance to make it right. Let's choose to spend our days the way it’s meant to be. Let’s choose to listen to our hearts and our souls instead of the people around us. Let’s choose to live our lives!
    Or choose to wait until the next prediction of 'Doomsday'...




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Dec 9, 2012

STOP SCREAMING!


I am a girl who loves watching horror movies. The most gruesome, bloody and horrific movies are some of my favourite movies to watch. Yet I am not the kind of girl that is frightened easily. You may find me with tears rolling down my cheeks for an entire day or eyebrows all wrinkled up in rage for silly things, but you will hardly find me screaming because I was scared. Or so I thought!
            There is a first time for everything I suppose. That is probably the whole point of growing up, where you learn new things not only about the mystical world around you with its bounty of hidden secrets, but also about the hidden wonders about yourself that evolve along with you as the years pass by. The same happened to me last week.                                                
            I am the kind of person who can manage to get sound sleep even in the middle of an earthquake (the fact that I don’t scare easily might be an attributive factor here). I don’t even wake up when there is a loud noise nearby, when I am asleep. This night was certainly different. I wasn’t even having a nightmare, but I suddenly woke up only to find weird shadows moving on my window screens as if the shadows were trying to tackle the light that was trying to get into my room.
            Just then I saw something moving behind the screen, and before my brain could grasp the situation, I was screaming so loud and running into my mother’s room! At that moment all I could think of was that a man was trying to get into my room and I needed to get away (How he was trying to get in through the thick metal grills I didn’t think). I managed to scare my mother out of her wits (I sure get a laugh out of it now)
            On investigating (which my mother did all by herself while I hid under her blanket) she came to the conclusion that it was our usual cat thief who had had a stomach-full meal from our kitchen and was trying to escape from my bedroom window. All is well!
            But as a person who asks too many questions and thinks more than normal, this was an incident that needed much more thinking than the fact that a cat managed to pull a classic prank on me.
            When I was faced with an uncertain entity trying to get into my room, I would expect my head would think it to be a ghost or some sort of paranormal entity (Yes I recently watched the movie paranormal entity. The realism with which they have made the movie must have had some affect on me I expected), considering the fact that I watch so many horror movies. But instead my head thought it to be a man of flesh and blood trying to harm me!
            This is a little disturbing to think that a girl would consider a real man a greater threat than the unexplained!
            That night when I screamt and ran out of the room, I was not just a girl scared of a man, but I was every girl who has a fear of being attacked by a man. That night I felt what every woman and girl feels as a vulnerable and ignored half of the society. Every woman understands at least once in her lifetime, what it means to be helpless and have no power, like how I felt when I thought a man was getting into my room that night.
            I am happy to announce that I do get sound sleep now and the cat has stopped pranking me, at least for now. But I wonder how many screams of little girls and women all around the world are going unheard this very second. When will we stop screaming?

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Sep 24, 2012

DREAM TO BE FREE


NOTE: The idea for this article was given by a dear friend of mine, Arpit Singh. He is also the author of the short poem quoted in the beginning of the article.

"chal uth, uth jaag

aur jagade sabsoye sapne,

chal jaag , aur bhaag
mitake sab raston ke kaante

kar galtiyan , kar chah se
kha thokrein, har rah pe
kar himmat, na maan haar kabhi
tu ccheen , tu noch
kar le jo karna hai muthi me
na fikar kar
tu azaad hai!



iss band muthi ko khol de
jo chahe voh tu bol de
chal ab jaag, aurbhaag
aur jagade sabsoye sapne,
tu rukna nahi
TU AZAAD HAI!"
                                                         -Arpit Singh



 I wake up every morning with a dream. A dream to show the world who I am, to open up my soul to everyone, to stand up and tell the truth. Every morning I wake up with the zeal to listen to my heart and to be who I am. But as the rays of the sun falls on me, as the glares of the people falls on me and the air they breathe falls on me, I lose my voice. My head bends down in the fear of losing. I know if I stand up for what I believe, I stand up alone. I know if I raise my voice, I will have a million voices juxtaposing it. And I know if I break away, a thousand chains pull me back. I think too much, I worry too much and I lose even before I really lose!
I am afraid no one will understand me. I am afraid they will say I am crazy. Then I ask myself  who are they to judge me? My conscience softly answers, they are the world! They rule this place I call home. They make the boundaries that I cannot cross. It is a war I shall never win, or is it?
When I feel all hope is lost, I see another soul caged in this place called society, suffocating for free air just like me. He screams out in his dreams only to an audience of empty space. He writes down his thoughts only to read it himself. He talks about his passions but only to the mirror. I know it because I go through the same unending ordeal every single day. I see the fire to break free, in his burning eyes. It fuels my own desire to fly away, soar like an eagle above all.
He talks of big things. He says the day the Berlin wall fell, the day Abraham Lincoln abolished slavery, the day our country won independence, were days that man won the war against those suppressing his very soul. He says they faced society and fought in spite of all the pitfalls along the way. He says we may lose many battles but if we listen to the heart we will win the war. I listen to his words and my desire to fight burns brighter than ever. I want to stand up and say “this is who I am, this is what I believe and I am happy”.
I dream of the days of triumph. I play the scenes of my free life in my head over and over again. Do not be misconstrued! I do not wish to be free to do whatever I want, but I wish to be free to decide what is right and what is wrong. I long for the day when I am my own self without having to worry breaking the rules this world set for me. I want my wings to open and lead me to where I belong…
The day is finally here. The day we face the world and tell them they cannot hold us inside their unseen boundaries anymore. I stand up and open my mouth. My heart burns like dry leaves on the peak of summer. I cannot hold my soul in anymore. But just then I feel a cold breeze chill my skin. I look around and I am alone… all alone!
He has left me all by myself. Standing alone I lose my voice again. Responsibilities, consequences, duty, wealth, family, career… he sacrifices his freedom for the same society that suffocates him everyday. I see him choke for the free air that he gave up. The flame in his eyes is slowly fading away as he gives in to this society and allows them to bind him tighter and tighter to their rules. I look in despair. I know I lost this battle but I shall never lose hope. I have lost, only to come back stronger. There will be a day when I wake up with my dream and it will come true. The day I break all boundaries around me and fly above all.

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Aug 17, 2012

HOW TO BE HAPPY IN ‘N’ OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP


If you have started reading this thinking that I will present to you a set of instructions on how to be in a happy and successful  relationship, or steps on how to keep you partner happy, then, I must warn you that I am the last person to be preaching such things! Since my mother will be reading this, I have never had a relationship. But hypothetically speaking, even if I have had them, then I have never given them enough priority to study them that intently.
            Hence, the instructions for manipulating a relationship is for commercial magazines and tabloids to take care of. My words are more concerned with aspects deeper or rather more significant in an individual’s life. Matters concerning that little thing called happiness.
            So why the word relationship in the title you ask. Sadly, I have come to observe that, with the rise in the population of this planet, there is an equal rise in the feeling of loneliness amongst us beings. The more faces we see around us, the more alone we feel. Ironic! All of us are after something or the other, aren’t we? Money, smartphones, love, lust, God, new Jimmy Choo shoes, what not.(If you aren’t one of these then I must say I’m very pleased) We are looking to relate to something… anything to gain a certain sense of satisfaction in our souls, simply called peace!
            But are we satisfied? Are we happy? Are we at peace? If we were, then I wouldn’t be writing this article and you wouldn’t be reading it.
            A new boyfriend or a girlfriend is certainly not going to change that cycle of pain-joy-pain that is eternal. YES! Sorry to break that bubble, but a new anything won’t make you happy, Unless….
            Unless you learn to be happy from the inside. Today a lover’s hug might give you the warmth and delight you crave for, but no celestial being can assure you that it will remain with you always. When your happiness is dependent on something or someone, it is next to impossible to say that it will remain with you forever. Simple logic isn’t it?
            Peace is when you are happy when you are stripped of everything that you have today. Your family, your friends, you lover, your new phone, your big car, your credit cards, your everything! The day you can say with confidence that “I am happy no matter what or who leaves me”, then that is the day that you are truly HAPPY! Now, you know the secret.
            Be happy with nothing, then even losing everything can’t take away your happiness!


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Aug 10, 2012

The Little Things That Make Heaven

     I look for a happy relationship with a happy man to make my life happy. I look for a bag full of gold to get me new shoes and make my feet happy for the rest of my life. I look for a happy group of friends to drink with and make merry. Am I happy? 

     The man walked out of my life, the bag of gold is all gone and the group of friends started to fade away. Am I still happy?

      A wise man once said -   
                                'Heaven on Earth' is a choice you must make, 
                                                                                    not a place you must find.'

     Every day I am given 1440 minutes to live. Every day I am given 1440 opportunities to be happy. Instead I choose to frown, whine and shed tears down my face.
  
     A happy little boy happens to look at me by chance. The intensity of the sadness spreads to his innocent heart, and I see his smile lowly turn upside down. I did him wrong. Him and many many others who are around me.

     Then I hear a song -
                         "When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
                                Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes"
                                                                                                              (Its Jon Bon Jovi....:))

    Every day I meet many people, see many things, hear many things and feel many things. What If I smile at every person I meet, instead of frown. Sounds fairly simple. What If I look at the little things in life and let it amuse me, instead of letting my tears blur this beautiful world away from me. Sounds even more simple. What if.....

     Today I don't have the man, I don't have the bag of gold, I don't have the merry friends. But, I am happy. 

     Buddha always said that nothing in life is permanent. The sorrow, the pain and the worries that seem herculean today, will be a page in a fading past tomorrow. Choose to smile at everything that life throws at you. Before you know it, all the things that brought you down are gone, and you are a survivor.








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Jun 14, 2012

Happiness or Peace???



            Money, Love, Power, Fame, Respect! In our efforts to earn something that we think our heart desires, we are all looking for our own versions of happiness. A 26-year old graduate working 14 hours a day trying to reach a 6 figure salary, thinks he can be happy if he has money enough to buy him anything he lays his eyes on.
            A 16-year old girl in love with a boy for the past 10 years, thinks if he falls in love with her then she can be happy.
            The 65-year old politician fighting for the Chief Minister’s position, thinks he can be happy once he attains the power to rule lakhs of people.
            The 29-year old struggling actor running between producers and directors day and night, thinks she can be happy once she earns that fame that she has always longed for.
            The 45-year old father thinks he can be happy when his son graduates as an engineer from the most prestigious institute, earning respect from the entire society. What is common among these souls?... They are all craving for Happiness; or rather We are all craving for the day we can truly be Happy and remain in that feeling eternally.

            One lesson that life teaches us since the day we are born, is that change is ever constant. Today you may be happy you bought a new super bike, but tomorrow you may be in the hospital getting your accident wounds bandaged. We learn that the state of being happy isn’t eternal as we all hope for it to be.

            Then why do we still run after it? It’s either our ignorance of the obvious truth or our laziness to learn otherwise. We lead our lives like a broken record, endlessly embarking on the journey to find boundless happiness, only to find that life is a roller coaster ride, where worries, sorrow, disappointment and heart-break are a part of the package.

            If happiness isn’t what we should look for then what do we look for? What should we wake up every day and work hard for? If happiness isn’t our goal then what is?...... PEACE.

            In our heads the idea of happiness and peace are nearly the same. We believe that when we attain happiness, we attain peace. But is it? A simple illustration can teach us the difference between Happiness and Peace. Imagine you are in love with someone and haven’t expressed your heart’s emotions to them. One day you wake up and decide you want to finally reveal your feelings to them.
            
            If your wish is to be happy, you will pray a million prayers that your love will express their love for you too. In your head your ‘Happily Ever After” will finally come true. But there is another side to this truth. If the other person doesn’t love you back, you are left alone to drown in your tears of sadness. The f expectation of being happy, leads to disappointment.

            When you express your feelings for the person, if attainment of peace is your goal, then the outcome of this endeavour is insignificant. Whether they love you back or not, you accept the truth and accept peace in your heart. If what you wished for didn’t come to you today, then there is always a tomorrow. That is the truth of life! With peace in your heart no sorrow in the world can bring a tear to your eye


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May 25, 2012

Electric Bike Anyone!?...

     It was about 2 years ago that I went up to my mom and said "I want an electric bike!"
She looked at me suspiciously and said "Are you suuuuuure?". If I weren't would I be asking her for it?(I had actually done my research!)
 
     For some reason she thought I was joking. Well actually for precisely three reasons she thought I was joking.
(1)It doesn't go above 40 kmph.
(2)It can't carry more than 120kgs weight.
(3)It needs to be charged everyday like a cellphone.
     After I finally bought it, I found another reason to add to her list
(4)It draws attention on the road! and actually gives people reason enough to make fun of it(never understood why though)

      My mom thought it was more sensible to buy a Honda Activa. It ran on petrol, had more power and could carry atleast three people comfortably. What else could you want? We had some very long discussions(With my mom and I, the discussions are more like arguments but we still prefer calling it discussions) but my stubborn attitude finally got me a new electric bike.

     In the beginning it was a little hard to explain to people about the consequences of fossil fuel on the environment and my reasons to do my part and so on.It was exhausting telling everyone than looked at me with a smirk and asked "electric bike?..... Really?" (Makes you wonder what our education system is worth huh?).

     But a year into my new purchase the petrol prices started to rise. It really didn't affect me. I mean I plug in my bike to the switch board. My bike has never been to a petrol pump! But everytime someone asked me ;"Electric bike?... Really?...", I loved saying "Wait and watch". I felt like Nostradamus who knew the petrol prices were going to increase forever, while I would still be charging my bike.

     And today the price is so high that some of my friends are actually considering buying an electric bike. Renewable sources is the new energy source!I felt like Columbus who was laughed at for saying the earth is round(Yes I do get a weird pleasure by comparing myself to great men from the history). He proved it right! My decision to buy an electric bike makes my mom love me more today.

     So, Elecrtric bike?... anyone?

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Mar 1, 2012

A Friend No More!



            Lost a friend recently. I can’t blame God for taking her away because she chose to leave us herself. The reason why she gave up I shall never understand, but all I can do is wish that she is in a better place today. Happy and smiling, just like how I remember her.
            She had been my classmate for a year and a half. Every single day I saw her, saw her breathing and alive. But not once did I ask her how she was doing. Not once did I ask her how life was treating her. Every single day I entered my class and treated her as just another classmate, every single day I lost an opportunity to get to know her better. And now that I know I shall never see her in my class again I regret my ignorance. I wish I had spent more time getting to know her.
            Losing you forever, I have learnt a lesson. We all see, meet and greet so many people every day, but in reality the ones we care about is a very small number! And this small number is shrinking every day. If I had taken even a few minutes out of my day to talk to her, she might have seen a good friend in me, confided in me and not have felt so lonely to think she needed to leave earlier than she was meant to!
            She was one of those people you would not notice that easily, but once you get to know her you would know she is amongst those rare people made of something special. She had something about her that I miss so much today. The day I heard she left us all I just could not believe it! She was not one of those who would give up so easily, yet she did. It was a battle lost not by her, but a failure on all our part!!! We saw her everyday but failed to see the sorrow in her eyes.
            There is no point in regretting now, because I know nothing I say or do will bring her back. I shall never get the opportunity to say sorry for being such a bad friend. I’ve always heard people say It is only when you lose someone you know their value, how true! The empty void she have left can never be filled and shall haunt me for the rest of my life, knowing she was right in front of me, yet I could not see she needed me… How foolish I have been!
            Next time you see your classmate, collegue or neighbour, and see even a hint of sorrow and pain, all you need to do is talk. Just a hello, a friendly smile and a 'how are you?' might make their day, might stop them from taking a drastic decision like my friend. These are one of those times to pause and think. A simple action could mean the world to somebody, could save a life. You could save yourself from regretting not being able to help like the way I am today.

Jan 11, 2012

The 2012 Promise

     Another new year has come…Parties, Alcohol, Fireworks, Gourmet food, New year presents, Dancing friends all around, Screaming “HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRRR”…Well, I had none! I welcomed 2012 sitting cozily on my bean bag, watching Star Movies and eating my humble little cake I had managed to make earlier, all by myself. While everybody (almost everybody) I knew was out celebrating the coming of 2012, I had all the time in the world to sit and think. And sit and think I did!

     The clock struck 12 but I hadn’t yet decided upon a New Year’s resolution. Oh My God!(Now that we are here, can I please say the usage of ‘omg’ is just so annoying! ). Here is the shortlisted resolutions I had in mind: 
     1. Control my anger…(Good one I know, but I’m a teenager! Don’t blame me, blame my hormones!) 
     2. Listen to others’ opinions too…(It’s not my fault my voice is loud. I’m sorry I can’t hear your voice over mine!)
     3. Learn to cook…(Hhheheehhehe…yeah right!) 
     4. Study better…(How does this one always manage to come into my resolutions list? somebody get this out of here) 
     5. Learn to spend less on useless things such as mufflers I can never wear in the Mysore heat or 3-inch stilettos I can never walk with on Mysore roads …(Damn! I hate myself for putting this one on the list. I’m a girl, I love shopping!)

     I must say I have been making resolutions for the past three years, and I am proud to say I have been successful with them all(I’m not kidding!). This year picking the right resolution is even more important for two reasons… 
     1) It is 2012!!!The end of the world!!! What if this is the last resolution that I will ever make? What if all the prophecies forecasting the End of the World might actually turn out to be true? You cannot ignore something just because it sounds crazy, right?…and 
     2)I’m turning 19!!!(Ah yes. Now you know my age. So what?)…It’s a milestone in a way. This is my last year of being a teen! No more excuses for all the crazy things I do. I need to wipe the frown off of my face and mature. Take responsibilities for my actions and learn the value of things(WOW! I’m already starting to sound like my mother!). 

     For these two significant reasons I needed a solid resolution and needed it fast! 

      New year’s day came and went away too. And I still didn’t have a resolution. And today, 12 days later, I am turning 19! My life’s real new year has begun and things surprisingly seem clearer. No! Neither did a light from heaven shine upon me nor did the ghost of Christmas show me my past, present and future. I guess I just opened my eyes…(I should maybe mention I began to read a very interesting book my a Buddhist monk called “What makes you not a Buddhist” . Even the first few pages of Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse taught me quite a lot.) 

     I have lived a life trying to make not only myself but also the people around me happy as much as I could, whenever I could. I have tried being as environmental-friendly and animal-loving as I could. Though I am proud of all that I have done and tried getting done, it still doesn’t feel enough!

     The time that I have tried spreading smiles, I know that I have been a reason for several tears in many lives too, intentionally or unintentionally! There have been times when I knew I could help someone out, yet I didn’t because of reasons pertaining to my well-being. And there have been times when I have been just plain unreasonable! Many friendships have ended, relationships have dissolved and attachments have died. I know I can’t bring them all back, and I cannot heal all wounds, but I wish to take this chance to say Sorry… 

     Sorry to all those people I have hurt, wronged and harmed. I know this seems to be a normal spur-of-the-moment blog post, but the emotion behind that Sorry is something I cannot put into words.

     I share this planet I call home with a lot more people( can’t forget animals and plants) than I can even imagine. Its time I start thinking about them too, right?

     So what is my final resolution, after all the thinking and emotional drama and blah blah of mine?. “Try to bring in as less negativity and sorrow into this world as possible. There is enough already!”. Simple and easy to follow eh?... Well if I find it too hard I can always jump to my back-up resolution of becoming a Charlie’s Angel!