EQUAL AND FREE

“Let him who would move the world first move himself.” 

~ Socrates

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

~ Mahatma Gandhi 

            I watched a group of young kids of about 10 years old, working on a construction site, bare-foot and bare-headed, as I walked back from one of India’s over 1 million sarkari (government) schools that give every child the right to free education. I wish I could say it was a heart – wrenching sight for me, but it wasn’t! Child labour is dangerously a common sight in India, ask every Indian!

             I looked away almost indifferently, but somewhere I could feel a little light switch on. I was there for a reason.  I was at the government school in a village, working towards my dream to the change the education system of this country. That was my reason. But if there are millions of kids still on the streets, having to work ruthlessly to fill their stomachs, with just two square meals a day, what change can I possibly bring?

           I change one kid. Is it enough? I change one school. So what? I change one village. What about the rest of this humungous nation? These changes never last long anyway. I will never be done. So what on earth is the point of it all?...

           When I was younger, I was an annoying little girl (some may say I still am), who complained and whined about the system, the society’s evils, deforestation, people’s attitude, animal testing and so on. To change the world, you have to first change yourself I was told. I would whine and complain even more saying, such a clogged point of view would never change anything.

           As I walked away from the working kids, I finally understood!

The sarkari school kids that I work with.

           Imagine if I looked into my own self and changed my way of thinking, my way of life and my philosophy. Imagine I change myself. Now, imagine if all of us looked into our own selves and changed our way of thinking, our way of life and our philosophy. Imagine we all change ourselves!

          By changing myself, I have become a part of that changed society where every being is equal and free, have I not? This change is big enough and long lasting enough to actually make a difference (yipeeee!). By changing myself, I have become a part of that society that gives a child the education it deserves, away from the life of a child labourer, have I not? By changing ourselves, we become a part of a society where every being is truly equal and free!

Don't Forget To Check Out :

• Destination Dharamsaala!
• The Little Things That Make Heaven

The Super(wo)man Inside all of Us...!

             Strong. Independent. Brave. I am not new to these words being used to describe me, obviously used after Stubborn. Weird. Short, nonetheless I accept these compliments with a big smile and an odd giggle as if I am in accordance with their description of me.           

The Fellowship ended up being one of the
 best learning experiences, and the journey is still on

            As to why anyone would say “How do you do it?”, or “where do you get the courage from?” or even “You are soooooo brave!”, fret not, I shall explain. I am a tiny little unmarried Indian girl who loves to travel and do things I’ve never done before. Since it is a tough task to carry my mother around with me, it means I travel alone. Yes! Alone! Which is apparently super unusual for an Indian girl. Why? That is a story for another day.

            As to me being all brave and superwoman. I am not! I shake, shiver and decide to quit all the time. I am writing this very blog post from a train from Delhi to Udaipur, where I start my life’s new chapter, working on a fellowship to help improve the Indian education scenario. Just a day before I was hiding under my friend’s blanket, shrieking that I didn’t want to leave the bed!

            My dear friend had to go through quite a riot to calm my nerves down, but once I got on the road I was fine. It took a lot to get to “fine”, but I most certainly did! If I had given up the second I felt my heart race and my legs quiver, then I wouldn’t be on my way to my dream of working with schools, I would have long gone back home only to quit other opportunities that presented itself to me.

            Am I brave? I do not know… Do I get scared? Hell yeah!... Do I let it stop me? Once I’m out of hiding under my blanket, I’m up for any challenge!

At home anywhere the world has to offer me.

            If facing my fears to reach my dreams, means I’m strong, brave and independent, then I guess I am. But, it certainly is not something I was born with. The more I face life and fight, the more easier it gets to get up and actually move forward. It doesn’t mean I get any less scared. Change and New Journeys still frighten me to bits, but now I have the confidence that it will be fine!

            The fear of the unknown and of new challenges is natural. We all experience it one time or the other. In fact if you don’t get nervous, then there is something to be worried about! Go. Dream. Fly! Don’t let your fears stop you from doing all that your heart desires, just like how I don’t let it stop me.

P.S: Sorry for the lame captions on the pictures! Too stressed out to come out with something more creative.

Don't forget to also check out :

• Destination Dharamsaala!
• Only Because She Was A Woman!

Destination Dharamsaala!

     This is a day that I feel I have to write down, for reasons that words just can’t explain. I’m saying this at the risk of sounding too romantic, but what’s the harm in falling in love with life, falling in love with the world, but not falling in love with a guy?

     With all my stubborn determination to travel the world, inspite of my previous mini-travel experiences, I have finally landed in Dharamsaala as a true traveler, or so I hope. Walking around the street alone in the beginning felt a little lonely, but as the sun climbed up the sky, through the clouds drizzling rain on us, the day just got better and better, and I somehow know that one post on my blog is just not enough to describe it, you have to live it!

The Stupa at the Monastery that I am staying in

     It began with joining a volunteering organization that helps teach Tibetan refugees foreign languages. Had a conversation class with a bunch of chatty enthusiastic Tibetan sweethearts, right after meeting travelers from Israel, Finland, USA, Canada and Britain who came in to volunteer as well.

Getting lost on the mountains to find a library certainly helped me lose a few kilos. I did not find the library, but I did find another organization that I fell in love with and will be teaching English at. Met a retired teacher from Taiwan who travelled the world with her seven year old daughter, had probably the world’s best momo soup and walked back to the monastery that I stay in. (Yes! I am living in a real monastery that has monks walking around in their red robes)

     I could just go on about this one single day! (and I will). Had weird chocolate donuts in a wonderful café, reading a book about Buddhism, whose most striking phrase was “If you still call yourself a Buddhist then you aren’t a true Buddha yet.” and met my student who I am going to teach French.

   Then I ended up in a café called “Hope Café” where I watched a documentary about the atrocities committed against Tibetans in China, with a bunch of amazing travelers. A British traveler who spent a few days in a jail in Iran, an Irish woman teaching English in Thailand, an Australian who really was touched by the Tibetan issue and so many others made my day even more eventful as we enjoyed chocolate momos.

A Valley In Dharamsaala.

     I can really go on about how amazing my day was, or how amazing Dharamsaala is or even how amazing chocolate momos are, but that would just be a little teenage girl writing in her personal diary. Whereas I have had an epiphany today, that didn't come as a surprise to me. The experiences that I have had, the memories that I have made and certainly the friends that I have earned, in just the past 24 hours travelling in a exotic unknown destination, have given me so much more than the past twenty years of my ‘settled’ life at ‘home’!

     Just one day, and I am all revved up to experience the world. Why not? It is our only home after all, with just so much to offer to us isn't it? A little pause to big travels dreams, as I have to receive my mom’s phone call from ‘home’, as she calls me all worried about me being alone and not being in the comforts of her cooking. 

Don't forget To Also Read :

• The Choice Between Me And What You Want Me To Be
• Dream To Be Free

The Indian Bureaucracy almost made me leave my country!

     Today was a hard day for me. Hard as an average common-man Indian! It led me to the extreme of asking my best friend as to how I could acquire a citizenship to Australia(No favouritism here! But any developed nation would do). I am no drama queen, but sometimes an insignificant incident(insignificant to others eyes) can trigger the deepest emotions in me.
     I needed a simple study certificate from my college just to state that I am a student of the college, so that I can use it to apply for a passport. Having spent three precious years of my youth studying in that college, I reckoned this would be no hard task, but boy was I wrong!
    First of all there is no specific person who really handles issues of students, because students are expected not to have issues. You see we are "educated" to become sheeple( Sheep + people), so doing anything other than what is strictly instructed to us in the name of disciple, is not an option. Regardless, I managed to find the office staff that would know something about the certificate, literally doing nothing at his desk. Nothing!
     When he realised I approached him with a potentially hazardous errand, requiring him to get up from his chair(oh how on earth could I ask him to do his job? How wrong of me!) he had a couple of excuses that was evidently pre-rehearsed. So now I know I am not the only one having to climb mountains to get a simple certificate.
    In spite of the fact that all my proof of address, date of birth and even proof of my existence had already been submitted to them, when I was admitted as a student to the very same college, he asked me to submit a whole bunch of other proofs! That too in a tone that was meant to remind me that I was subservient to his bureaucratic position. The tone mattes a lot, it is a window to the attitude that they carry towards us students.
     No matter what he asked of me, at that moment when I was filled with utter frustration at his incompetence and his evident bullying attitude, I realised how helpless I was. With no insane amounts of money in my pocket or an influential politician in my family tree, I could not get anything done in this system if I were to follow the correct norms and procedures. I either had to bribe him, bully him or end up getting bullied and waste days of my precious youth running around him to get things done!
     The bureaucracy of India works as if it does a favour to those who approach their desks for things to get done. Some of us maybe at such positions too, some of us might get into those positions some day soon, but when we get to that position, why do we all forget our duty? Why do we forget to do the job that is asked of us? Why do we forget that no matter how small the work that is asked of us might be, it is still a part of the system that we are a part of? No matter how insignificant it may seem, the longer we take to get it done, the more clogs and obstacles you add to the system. At the end of the day, making us responsible for the slow, irresponsible and frustrating system that manages to hold this country back from becoming great!
     Do not underestimate yourself to the extent that you begin to think nothing that you do has an impact in the world. Everything we do has an impact somewhere, somehow and on someone. Every action of yours or even every inaction will have ramifications that you are responsible for. Begin to think of yourself as a part of a system that is working to a better tomorrow. Then maybe our bureaucracy, our governmet, our education and finally our country might move forward towards a better India. Or else, a citizenship to Australia is always an option!

Don't Forget To Read : 

• Why I Make A Horrible Indian Wife

• The Little Things That Make Heaven

He Said He Has Three Girlfriends!

     It was just another day at my friend's place, the usual jibber-jabber, the annoyingly loud television and the random college friends walking in conveniently adding in their confusion into the jibber-jabber, that made no sense in the first place. Amidst this chaos, that one can surprisingly get used to, my friend introduced me to a new member, who I hadn't had the opportunity to meet before(I say opportunity since he is the protagonist of this blog post)
    "He is most famous guy in college and he has three girlfriends, all crazy about him." This was the first statement that heralded his initiation into the group. He blushed and his pride in this "achievement" of his was evident.
     To my surprise my friend looked at me with a glance that hinted that I remark on the new member's ability to collect women as one would collect candies or toy cars! All that came out my mouth was a "Sorry!"
     As expected, looks of confusion were directed at me. I realised I was supposed to be impressed somehow and probably should have offered to be the fourth girlfriend. I had to cover up and say "I'm sorry for you! It's a struggle to even survive one relationship, and you manage three", when I originally wanted to say "I'm sorry for you! Your lack of a decent education and mental maturity is so evident." But then again it was our first rendez-vous, and I didn't want to scare the guy away with my strong opinions and principles(Call me crazy!)
    I should have been more offended at the fact that such a young and a potential future advocate of this nation(this jibber-jabbering lot were all students of Law) , didn't comprehend how preposterous his "achievement" of not only deceiving three women was, but also how badly it reflected on his ability to treat women as an equal gender that deserved respect and courtesy. But then again who am I to say anything!
    I was more disappointed with my friend who welcomed in this member to whom women were just collectible items, with open arms (literally!). The day continued on as if nothing was wrong and nothing needed any attention.
    As a society and as citizens we have the right to draw a line as to what is acceptable and what is not. We hold loud discussions in cafeterias about the condition of women in this nation, we throw mud on the government for not protecting women enough and eventually we point fingers at the women itself for provoking the crime done against them, but none of us ever stand up in our everyday lives against people like him.
   His choice of treatment of women and his wrongly-placed pride in it should have found a stop amongst his peers, who have the ability to realise how damaging an attitude such as that can be not only to the three women, but the society at large. Yet we fear and we hesitate to say NO! STOP! Women are equal! Women deserve better!
     *Everyone has the equal right to be with the partner they choose and exercise their sexual freedom, but only as long as the rights of the other people involved are also being respected!

    Things do not change; we change

~HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Don't Forget to Read :

• The choice between ME and who YOU want me to be
• How can I be proud of being an Indian Woman?

Where Are All The Mothers And The Wives?

It is that time of the year, where tensions are high as the exams are around the corner. Though half of the country is boiling with anger over the countless rapes of women and little girls in the nation, our universities continue to follow their routine of examinations. I belong to one such university and the whole last week was spent in filling up forms and paying fees for the same cause.

            Though the medieval practice of filling up paper forms and standing in queues for hours together, when we belong to the age of internet, really frustrated me, what caused me more anger was the fact that every form asked for my father’s name or in some cases my husband’s name. Somehow, the women of my life where considered either non-existent or maybe not fit enough to be identified with.

Have women no identity?

            In a time when people are protesting against heinous crimes such as rape, my little complaint of not including a woman at an equal position in the administration, might seem menial. Then again, it is the little changes that lead to the biggest impact.

            Even when the trend of anti-corruption swallowed our nation, and everybody was filled with a zeal to fight corruption, the flame faded of soon. When in reality the real fighters of this cause are small actions taken by people every day. Little things such as teaching your kids to value the right things in life and not run after wealth alone, or choosing to pay the fine for not wearing the helmet instead of bribing the traffic policeman.  

            Even with the cause of the equal treatment of women, the little things in our daily lives, can bring the biggest impact. If we start genuinely considering women as equal, and include their names in places where only men stood before, then wouldn’t equality of women come naturally in the country? Waiting for big changes at the level of parliament and supreme courts would mean nothing, if in our everyday lives, we still fail to see women as equal, and fail to see women as that half of the society that can not only have its own identity, but also give identity to their children and spouses.

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Battle for Gender Equality

“This is the first time in the history that we are talking about equality of gender”. As I heard these words from my friend’s mouth, I realized the magnanimity of his statement. We, as a generation, are part of a progressive change in the very foundation of society. Slow, yet existent.

            Man and Woman, or as feminists would suggest, Woman and Man, have now the opportunity to talk about being considered equal and treated as individuals, regardless of the gender they belong to. This does not mean they are both expected to bear offsprings, or both expected to run as fast, but it means both the genders have the equal rights to choose the lives that they wish to have.

            As history stands to teach us, Change has never come easy. Scholars who said the earth was round, when everybody was more than convinced it was flat; freedom-fighters who said the foreign invaders had no place ravaging their homelands and fought for freedom; or educated citizens who said no king or queen could govern a country as effectively as a democratic republic, can all stand testimony to how tough and testing change can be!

            In this generation, the change we talk of is the way we look at the genders that exist in our societies (or rather, in our minds). We are the people who will be remembered in the future centuries to come, as the people who broke down barriers that has pulled people down with true potential for greatness, and freed them from the binds that force them to conform to the norms of the gender-biased societies.

            Do we want to be a part of this change? Do we want to be remembered for the greatness that we as a community have achieved? Do we want to allow people to achieve greatness and contribute to the entire humanity moving forward? Why not!

            The world was always faced with new innovations, theories and techniques, that rattled its very foundation. The discovery of fire, the invention of the computer, the proposal of the Big Bang Theory, the concept of Free Education, and countless such examples taken from the very history of the species that we belong to. None of these changes were accepted painlessly, yet they eventually were. The path to gender equality also faces a similar destiny.

            The little battles fought today, will certainly bring about the change that people have begun to realize, is necessary in this world. Why not be a part of this battle and fight the odds, afterall change is the only thing that is constant.

Also Read : 

• Only Because She Was A Woman
• Happiness Or Peace