He Said He Has Three Girlfriends!

     It was just another day at my friend's place, the usual jibber-jabber, the annoyingly loud television and the random college friends walking in conveniently adding in their confusion into the jibber-jabber, that made no sense in the first place. Amidst this chaos, that one can surprisingly get used to, my friend introduced me to a new member, who I hadn't had the opportunity to meet before(I say opportunity since he is the protagonist of this blog post)
    "He is most famous guy in college and he has three girlfriends, all crazy about him." This was the first statement that heralded his initiation into the group. He blushed and his pride in this "achievement" of his was evident.
     To my surprise my friend looked at me with a glance that hinted that I remark on the new member's ability to collect women as one would collect candies or toy cars! All that came out my mouth was a "Sorry!"
     As expected, looks of confusion were directed at me. I realised I was supposed to be impressed somehow and probably should have offered to be the fourth girlfriend. I had to cover up and say "I'm sorry for you! It's a struggle to even survive one relationship, and you manage three", when I originally wanted to say "I'm sorry for you! Your lack of a decent education and mental maturity is so evident." But then again it was our first rendez-vous, and I didn't want to scare the guy away with my strong opinions and principles(Call me crazy!)
    I should have been more offended at the fact that such a young and a potential future advocate of this nation(this jibber-jabbering lot were all students of Law) , didn't comprehend how preposterous his "achievement" of not only deceiving three women was, but also how badly it reflected on his ability to treat women as an equal gender that deserved respect and courtesy. But then again who am I to say anything!
    I was more disappointed with my friend who welcomed in this member to whom women were just collectible items, with open arms (literally!). The day continued on as if nothing was wrong and nothing needed any attention.
    As a society and as citizens we have the right to draw a line as to what is acceptable and what is not. We hold loud discussions in cafeterias about the condition of women in this nation, we throw mud on the government for not protecting women enough and eventually we point fingers at the women itself for provoking the crime done against them, but none of us ever stand up in our everyday lives against people like him.
   His choice of treatment of women and his wrongly-placed pride in it should have found a stop amongst his peers, who have the ability to realise how damaging an attitude such as that can be not only to the three women, but the society at large. Yet we fear and we hesitate to say NO! STOP! Women are equal! Women deserve better!
     *Everyone has the equal right to be with the partner they choose and exercise their sexual freedom, but only as long as the rights of the other people involved are also being respected!

    Things do not change; we change

~HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Don't Forget to Read :

• The choice between ME and who YOU want me to be
• How can I be proud of being an Indian Woman?

Where Are All The Mothers And The Wives?

It is that time of the year, where tensions are high as the exams are around the corner. Though half of the country is boiling with anger over the countless rapes of women and little girls in the nation, our universities continue to follow their routine of examinations. I belong to one such university and the whole last week was spent in filling up forms and paying fees for the same cause.

            Though the medieval practice of filling up paper forms and standing in queues for hours together, when we belong to the age of internet, really frustrated me, what caused me more anger was the fact that every form asked for my father’s name or in some cases my husband’s name. Somehow, the women of my life where considered either non-existent or maybe not fit enough to be identified with.

Have women no identity?

            In a time when people are protesting against heinous crimes such as rape, my little complaint of not including a woman at an equal position in the administration, might seem menial. Then again, it is the little changes that lead to the biggest impact.

            Even when the trend of anti-corruption swallowed our nation, and everybody was filled with a zeal to fight corruption, the flame faded of soon. When in reality the real fighters of this cause are small actions taken by people every day. Little things such as teaching your kids to value the right things in life and not run after wealth alone, or choosing to pay the fine for not wearing the helmet instead of bribing the traffic policeman.  

            Even with the cause of the equal treatment of women, the little things in our daily lives, can bring the biggest impact. If we start genuinely considering women as equal, and include their names in places where only men stood before, then wouldn’t equality of women come naturally in the country? Waiting for big changes at the level of parliament and supreme courts would mean nothing, if in our everyday lives, we still fail to see women as equal, and fail to see women as that half of the society that can not only have its own identity, but also give identity to their children and spouses.

Don't Forget To Also Read :

• The Battle For Gender Equality
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Battle for Gender Equality

“This is the first time in the history that we are talking about equality of gender”. As I heard these words from my friend’s mouth, I realized the magnanimity of his statement. We, as a generation, are part of a progressive change in the very foundation of society. Slow, yet existent.

            Man and Woman, or as feminists would suggest, Woman and Man, have now the opportunity to talk about being considered equal and treated as individuals, regardless of the gender they belong to. This does not mean they are both expected to bear offsprings, or both expected to run as fast, but it means both the genders have the equal rights to choose the lives that they wish to have.

            As history stands to teach us, Change has never come easy. Scholars who said the earth was round, when everybody was more than convinced it was flat; freedom-fighters who said the foreign invaders had no place ravaging their homelands and fought for freedom; or educated citizens who said no king or queen could govern a country as effectively as a democratic republic, can all stand testimony to how tough and testing change can be!

            In this generation, the change we talk of is the way we look at the genders that exist in our societies (or rather, in our minds). We are the people who will be remembered in the future centuries to come, as the people who broke down barriers that has pulled people down with true potential for greatness, and freed them from the binds that force them to conform to the norms of the gender-biased societies.

            Do we want to be a part of this change? Do we want to be remembered for the greatness that we as a community have achieved? Do we want to allow people to achieve greatness and contribute to the entire humanity moving forward? Why not!

            The world was always faced with new innovations, theories and techniques, that rattled its very foundation. The discovery of fire, the invention of the computer, the proposal of the Big Bang Theory, the concept of Free Education, and countless such examples taken from the very history of the species that we belong to. None of these changes were accepted painlessly, yet they eventually were. The path to gender equality also faces a similar destiny.

            The little battles fought today, will certainly bring about the change that people have begun to realize, is necessary in this world. Why not be a part of this battle and fight the odds, afterall change is the only thing that is constant.

Also Read : 

• Only Because She Was A Woman
• Happiness Or Peace

Blast From The Past

     I was out with my mom buying books today.I just love books!!!Coming out of a 3 storey book store, with the subtle scent of new books all around always makes me feel so contented for some reason........I came out to the parking lot with my mom and standing right next to our bike was my 3rd grade sir that I hadn't seen for a long time.I remembered him really well.Just a glance and I knew it was him!
     I saw him laughing and talking on the phone.I don't know if he remembered me after so many years, but he seemed to notice that I recognized him.I don't know if it was the anger swelling up or the anguish that I had forgotten so many years ago, but I certainly felt something!I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream and I know I certainly wished I could make him feel the pain he caused to me and God knows how many other girls in his life.

    I was little when he was my teacher and I admit I have the memory of a goldfish, but I could never forget him and I know I never will either.He is the kind of man who to the society seems like a "good and decent man" (if not an angel!) but to those few who see his true colours, he is an evil man (if not the devil himself!).The right word to describe what he did (trust me I'm trying my best to find a non-offensive word here) is Sexual Abuse!
     All these years I had read and heard about girls and women of all ages being molested, women at offices being sexually harassed and women sexually abused by their own family members, but I confess I didn't give it much thought.....until I saw the man who was my teacher standing a few feet away from me.I remember he didn't do anything too abusive with me, but I also remember he was removed from the school for his other serious attempts that finally came to light!I am not one of those girls who cries when her nail breaks or when her teachers yell at her, yet this blast from the past certainly took me by surprise........call it trauma call it a bad memory, no girl deserves to go through any of this!
     We all have the power to change this.....the power to stop cowardly men like him from destroying lives of many all over the world!All we need is the heart to stand up and do what is necessary.When your daughter or sister, however young, comes home and tells you about a "bad man", I beg you LISTEN TO HER!She might be telling the truth.If in case it turns out to be the truth please TELL THE POLICE!Men like him only belong behind bars.....away from our girls and women.
     In a conservative country like India, people often chose not to make it a "big issue".But, remember every guilty sex offender that is let go, abuses 20 more innocent girls before he is finally punished for his actions(In some cases like my sir, they are never punished!!!).I agree in some cases it seems just too hopeless........no way to come back from the pain, but there is always a light somewhere if you just look hard enough.I have posted a video(thanks to my dear sister for sharing it with me) to show there are people(I like to say angels) who are doing more than we can even imagine for issues like these.I hope it inspires a few souls reading my post.It is about a woman from Nepal called Anuradha Koirala, who helps women who are sexually abused and tortured......the video says it all.

     We all don't have the capability to do what she does, but we all have the capability to at least join in the cause and spread the message.Help protect the girls and women of our world, don't let them suffer with no voice to stand up for them.

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My Conversation With Mr.Daniel...

    His Holiness the Dalai Lama,for those who do not know yet, is the head of state and a spiritual Buddhist leader of Tibet.But what attracts me more towards him is his message of peace.He is an advent activist of human rights,the environment and universal brotherhood.His work has not only won him 84 awards and countless appreciation but also the Nobel prize in the year 1989.His never ending fight for the protection of Human rights won my respect, love and support for him.And I was instilled with the dream to meet His Holiness and work with him someday!

The Bylakuppe sera temple campus

    As if to answer my prayers the Dalai Lama scheduled his visit to Bylakuppe(a tibetan refugee camp near Mysore my home town).I took no time to plan my visit to Bylakuppe in hopes of at least catching a glimpse of him if not meeting him personally(which is totally out of question for a common-man like myself!).After finally convincing my over-protective mom that going without her with only a friend of mine is very much safe for a teenage girl,I set out on my quest for enlightenment from His Holiness.

    For a person who is of the habit of waking up as late as possible in the morning, waking up at 4 a.m in order to reach our destination was hard!Finally managing to wake up and getting ready,my friend and I,after waiting for half an hour at the bus stop,saw a typical government bus coming towards us.We thought that enquiring the bus conductor only about the destination would be enough,which we did and "bylakuppe" came the answer.With a sense of satisfaction we boarded our bus but to our dismay the bus was jam-packed!We had to journey standing up in a bus at 6 in the morning for almost half the journey with empty stomachs.In spite of all this I still got down at Bylakuppe with a smile because I knew I would be meeting with the Dalai Lama very soon.

    After searching around the 3,000 acres camp we finally found the monastery where the Dalai Lama was making his public speech.When I reached there I was utterly disappointed.The monastery had reached its maximum seating capacity and hence I had to stand out, from where the dalai lama looked as small as an ant!And to add to my disappointment His Holiness was speaking in complete Tibetan, whose head or tail I can not make out!After a few minutes standing out in the scorching sun and listening to a speech we could barely understand, I and my friend decided to leave from that place and go around to the monasteries.

Inside the beautiful sera temples holding the 80 feet statues

    No matter how sad, angry, irritated and in this case disappointed I am, when I enter a Buddhist monastery(called gumpa) I forget everything and experience true serenity.During my attempt to attain inner peace I noticed an interesting looking foreigner seated on the mats with folded legs and eyes closed and a peaceful look on his face.After a second's glance I looked away and went about my spiritual business.

    After staying inside the silent environment amongst the 80 feet golden Buddha statues to my heart's content, I stepped out only to find that foreigner outside with a few students with him.A kind smile and a small gesture ended up in a conversation with him.I, a teenager from India and Mr.Daniel(the name of the foreigner), a veteran drummer from Switzerland had quiet a lot in common than one could imagine.

Inside another temple in sera, bylakyppe

    We spoke about spirituality, French, switzerland, travel and what not!But what I take away the most from my conversation with Mr.Daniel is our discussion about human rights in India.It started off when we were talking about the prevailing attitude of Indians towards the Indian constitution.A highly impressed Mr.Daniel spoke of how beautifully thought and planned the constitution was but how Indians failed to realise its value.To this I illustrated how my "Constitution of India" teacher herself didn't respect our national anthem in my college.While I was expecting my fellow companion would nod in agreement and perhaps appreciate my patriotism, I was taken aback by his discord with my love for the national anthem.

    He went on to say how the national anthem was trivial as compared to the magnitude of human rights violation occurring in the country.Female foeticide, human trafficking and unlawful detention are only a tip of the huge iceberg he explained.I was pleasantly surprised by his argument, a side that I always knew but had never thought of.He spoke about these issues as if it were his own country,it was then that I realised humanity knows no bounds!
    With over 100 crore population and the World Health Organization coming out with facts such as  900,000 Indians dying each year from drinking contaminated water and breathing in polluted air,presence of only about 60 physicians per 100,000 people in India, it is of urgent importance that Indians start becoming sensitive towards human rights issues.Speaking with Mr.Daniel my mind was awoken to these issues.
    I do not remember for exactly how long we spoke to each other, maybe an hour or so, but I must say the amount of knowledge I gained from him in this time span was way greater than my "constitution of india" classes at college.It was not just knowledge but it was an enlightenment in a way that I attained.That evening I returned home with a smile on my face, as I knew even though I missed out on the Dalai lama's speech that I had waited so long for, my trip had proven to be worth all the pain I had been through to reach 'bylakuppe'.