I was out with my mom buying books today.I just love books!!!Coming out of a 3 storey book store, with the subtle scent of new books all around always makes me feel so contented for some reason........I came out to the parking lot with my mom and standing right next to our bike was my 3rd grade sir that I hadn't seen for a long time.I remembered him really well.Just a glance and I knew it was him!
I saw him laughing and talking on the phone.I don't know if he remembered me after so many years, but he seemed to notice that I recognized him.I don't know if it was the anger swelling up or the anguish that I had forgotten so many years ago, but I certainly felt something!I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream and I know I certainly wished I could make him feel the pain he caused to me and God knows how many other girls in his life.
I was little when he was my teacher and I admit I have the memory of a goldfish, but I could never forget him and I know I never will either.He is the kind of man who to the society seems like a "good and decent man" (if not an angel!) but to those few who see his true colours, he is an evil man (if not the devil himself!).The right word to describe what he did (trust me I'm trying my best to find a non-offensive word here) is Sexual Abuse!
All these years I had read and heard about girls and women of all ages being molested, women at offices being sexually harassed and women sexually abused by their own family members, but I confess I didn't give it much thought.....until I saw the man who was my teacher standing a few feet away from me.I remember he didn't do anything too abusive with me, but I also remember he was removed from the school for his other serious attempts that finally came to light!I am not one of those girls who cries when her nail breaks or when her teachers yell at her, yet this blast from the past certainly took me by surprise........call it trauma call it a bad memory, no girl deserves to go through any of this!
We all have the power to change this.....the power to stop cowardly men like him from destroying lives of many all over the world!All we need is the heart to stand up and do what is necessary.When your daughter or sister, however young, comes home and tells you about a "bad man", I beg you LISTEN TO HER!She might be telling the truth.If in case it turns out to be the truth please TELL THE POLICE!Men like him only belong behind bars.....away from our girls and women.
In a conservative country like India, people often chose not to make it a "big issue".But, remember every guilty sex offender that is let go, abuses 20 more innocent girls before he is finally punished for his actions(In some cases like my sir, they are never punished!!!).I agree in some cases it seems just too hopeless........no way to come back from the pain, but there is always a light somewhere if you just look hard enough.I have posted a video(thanks to my dear sister for sharing it with me) to show there are people(I like to say angels) who are doing more than we can even imagine for issues like these.I hope it inspires a few souls reading my post.It is about a woman from Nepal called Anuradha Koirala, who helps women who are sexually abused and tortured......the video says it all.
We all don't have the capability to do what she does, but we all have the capability to at least join in the cause and spread the message.Help protect the girls and women of our world, don't let them suffer with no voice to stand up for them.
I saw him laughing and talking on the phone.I don't know if he remembered me after so many years, but he seemed to notice that I recognized him.I don't know if it was the anger swelling up or the anguish that I had forgotten so many years ago, but I certainly felt something!I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream and I know I certainly wished I could make him feel the pain he caused to me and God knows how many other girls in his life.
All these years I had read and heard about girls and women of all ages being molested, women at offices being sexually harassed and women sexually abused by their own family members, but I confess I didn't give it much thought.....until I saw the man who was my teacher standing a few feet away from me.I remember he didn't do anything too abusive with me, but I also remember he was removed from the school for his other serious attempts that finally came to light!I am not one of those girls who cries when her nail breaks or when her teachers yell at her, yet this blast from the past certainly took me by surprise........call it trauma call it a bad memory, no girl deserves to go through any of this!
We all have the power to change this.....the power to stop cowardly men like him from destroying lives of many all over the world!All we need is the heart to stand up and do what is necessary.When your daughter or sister, however young, comes home and tells you about a "bad man", I beg you LISTEN TO HER!She might be telling the truth.If in case it turns out to be the truth please TELL THE POLICE!Men like him only belong behind bars.....away from our girls and women.
In a conservative country like India, people often chose not to make it a "big issue".But, remember every guilty sex offender that is let go, abuses 20 more innocent girls before he is finally punished for his actions(In some cases like my sir, they are never punished!!!).I agree in some cases it seems just too hopeless........no way to come back from the pain, but there is always a light somewhere if you just look hard enough.I have posted a video(thanks to my dear sister for sharing it with me) to show there are people(I like to say angels) who are doing more than we can even imagine for issues like these.I hope it inspires a few souls reading my post.It is about a woman from Nepal called Anuradha Koirala, who helps women who are sexually abused and tortured......the video says it all.
We all don't have the capability to do what she does, but we all have the capability to at least join in the cause and spread the message.Help protect the girls and women of our world, don't let them suffer with no voice to stand up for them.
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you are right... such men don't deserve a place next to us... they should be punished!
ReplyDeletei like ur work... way to go!
I have great respect for you Spoorthi for not just sharing the trauma that you experienced as a small child, but also for finding the courage to talk about it now - after several years & in a public forum too.
ReplyDeletePlease remember that you are completely justified in the several feelings you have expressed. It WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT ! YOU ARE THE VICTIM ! The perpetrator (your teacher) betrayed your trust in him.
We wrongly believe that Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) is a western phenomena. It is NOT ! A data I want to share with you is that in over 90% of CSA, the perpetrator is someone close to the victim - someone who knows the victim. A Father, brother, Uncle, teacher, driver, etc. The perpetrator slowly creeps onto you, demanding of you his/her trust that tears you apart.
You are 200% right in exhorting parents to be sensitive to their children's complaints and respond to their needs, EVEN IF THE PERPETRATOR IS A "TRUSTED" MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
There are several websites that provide details on dealing with CSA. As a budding journalist, you would be doing several million victims of CSA (Both children and adult survivors) a great service by highlighting this as often as possible.
I just want to end with clearing a myth that CSA happens only to girls. You would be surprised to know that about 40% of the victims are small boys too.
Keep writing ! Get angry more often ! Anger is sometimes a better emotion to nurture than indifference !